Sushant Kulkarni a.k.a. SKUL

The dawn of new times

2011-06-02T22:56:00.003+05:30

As usual, i left office and came for dinner at Poona Boarding House (referred as PBH hereafter), for a moment i thought i was dreaming, it was like i was high on drugs and didnt really know what was happening around me... it was a complete shocker.

PBH playing instrumentals in full volume... now thats something to talk about.

Its not alwez u witness moments like this that become a milestone in the history. Today's day needs to be written in golden words in history of Pune. Now we can truely say we have entered in 21st century. PBH, its right in the heart of city, Sadashiv Peth.

Sadashiv Peth is like all of Pune's obnoxiousness packed in one place, puneri to the bottom of the bottoms.
I bet u have heard this story about a Sadashiv Pethi shop owner called Mr. Chiple (name changed to protect identity). Mr. Chiple, as any other Sadhiv Pethi, was very perticular about his rules. Everyday Mr. Chiple wud close down his shop from 2-4 (बंद म्हणजे बंद, एकदा सांगितलेले कळत नाही का तुम्हांस). One day he closed his shop at 2 and was going home. Suddenly he remembered that he had left his bicycle keys inside. He then reached back at the shop, but then he wouldn't allow himself to enter the shop (2-4 closed man, whoever damn f&^king thing u are). SO Mr. Chiple waited at the doorstep till 4 and then at 4 when he opened the shop, finally got his keys.

And when u come across something like this in Sadashiv Peth, u r either dreaming or u have become a part of the history. Listening to Chandni, Ram Lakhan, Kabhi Kabhi in PBH is much better than listening to Nirvana in some lounge, any day i wud go to PBH over any damn lounge in Pune. But the real surprise comes next, when i heard Titanic, i was a complete gonner, i thought the hunger had just taken me over and i m halucinating.

But no, this is no halucination, this is a beginning of a new beginning (whatever that means). This is WE shouting all over, that, yes we have entered the 21st century and WE are no less that U. WE the puneri ppl with our most valued obnoxicity, are the king of the new times.............

(i should probably stop here now, i guess i need to find something else to do)

Disclaimer:
I am not even in a mood to write a disclaimer for this post. Whoever has any issues with this blog post, go visit some shop on Laxmi Road for window shopping.

The Pathshala... no questions answered

2010-05-02T02:09:00.000+05:30

This is probably not going to be what u expected.... after all i m venting out frustration of 2 bad movies and around 500 Rs.

Lets start with ripping Pathshala... tagline: every #@#king question must be answered

why? what the hell... why should every question must be answered, get lost screw ur self, dont others have any work than to answer ur stupid questions?

Well and if its all about getting answers to the questions then here are my questions...

1. Is Nana out of his mind?

2. Has Shahis Kareena breakup made Shahid mentally unstable?

3. Did director Milind Ukey (god know who the @%#^ he is) direct this movies as a summer internship

assignment for some B-grade film school?

and a lot more......

the moment i entered the theater hall, i felt it, i knew deep down in my heart that this is going to be the worst movie i m ever gonna see, well the credit goes to the director, right from the first scene he sets the expectations, no suspense, right from the 1st scene u know that ys this one is going to make u nuts, going to take ur brain out for a ride

there are so may scenes in the movie that defy all logic. Shahid and Nana are completely wasted, i dont blame Aayesha Takiya, after all nobody never expected her to act, she is just there as an eye candy

over all, good concept but a completely hopeless script in hands of a mentally retarded director

हरिश्चंद्र effect

2010-02-04T01:58:00.000+05:30

Just finished watching Harishchandrachi Factory... yup the same marathi movie that has gone for Oscars.

Amazing movie, so simple yet so effective.

This movie doesnt presents Falke as some great man how endured pain to achieve what he believed, neither does it tell you what his wife went through while he was busy doing all this. It just tell you a simple story of making a movie, the first ever indian movie, and thats where is rises above all, thats where it becomes the greatest tale of all.

There is no fuss, there are no special effects nothing glossy glamorous stuff, no stars... the movie gives you a feel of those good old times, it takes you to a completely different time period, it literally does this with its music, sound recording and the characters.

A simple tale told in a simple way. A man who wants to make a movie, sells out all that he has, borrows money, sells his wife's jewellery for one simple reason, to make a movie.

I might be sounding stupid, but i just cant get over the effect, how can such a simple story be so much effective? i guess thats because its told that way. From start to finish, the movie keeps its simplicity alive, everyone is committed to make a good movie. Everyone is true to what they believe.

हलत्या चित्रांचा विजय असो !!!

The Big Idiot

2010-01-13T19:32:00.018+05:30

Guys, here it is, The Big Idiot at his best!

3 Idiots...

2010-01-11T00:35:00.033+05:30

Well, guys, this is not the story of THE 3 Idiots, the much talked about movie running housefull everywhere. I am sure u have heard a lot about it, so i wont waste ur and my time talking about it.

This is the story of 3 idiots that didn't like 3 Idiots. I am really not sure what they didn't like about the film, did they not like that they paid 300 bucks (black) for the movie or did they not like that they saw it in some filthy theater in Jaipur or did they not like each others company?

The idiots went to Jaipur as it was a long weekend, they spent their 31st Dec (new yrs) night in Mumbai, then took off for Jaipur. The biggest idiot fell sick in course of the journey, the tharkiest* idiot i m sure was busy watching the firangi gori mems all the time during the trip and the largest idiot i am not sure what he did, but he is the most decent idiot amongst the three.
Now this biggest idiot didnt like this movie at all and i can understand that. After all he has a weird taste for life. Those who have seen Radhika, will know what i mean. You can never expect any normal behavior from him.

The tharki idiot has his own way of living, he is alwez abusing the system and talks like he is the only one right amongst it. He will do something even if it harms him, just to show that he doesnt give a damn about the system.

And this largest idiot is really very cool about everything. He is like a giant rhino who thinks he is a rabbit. No one wud ever dare to cross him, if only he ever resents. But no, he is alwez pray to the biggest idiot, and who is not, u can hide from death but not from the big idiot. He will find u and humiliate u till death.

And this big idiot, he went to Agra and didnt even see Taj Mahal, why? cos he was sleeping.

Anywez, these three idiots went to Jaipur, and saw THE 3 Idiots and here are some reasons why they didnt like it,

they feel that the movie is very illogical, like how can Aamir study under someone else's identity for so long, how can he repair helicopter (a students project) in a mere day, how can he suck out a baby with a vacuum cleaner... and how on earth a man who studied under false identity, who didnt even have his own degree be Funsuk Wangdu, the gr8 scientist with over 400 patents in his pocket? How did he go to Ladakh and open a school? Aamir doesnt look like a 22 yr old, what did he think of when he accepted this role, how can u expect this from aamir.... and on and on and on... like a mahapurush in my office says, Blah Blah Blah!!!

Come on guys, its a bollywood movie not a fcuking nuclear physics class, where everything is bound by an equation.

3 Cheers Chetan Bhagat!!!

How i finally got my US Visa OR Journey To US Consulate...

2009-11-13T20:46:00.014+05:30

As most of you already know, my VISA once got rejected last month. You can find the related blog post here 10 Reasons...

So, here is an insight into how i finally got my US Visa...

The journey began on 11th Nov. It was a rainy day, suddenly out of nowhere the rain had started 2 days before and it was in no mood to stop. Thankfully, it slowed down a bit later that day.

To add into all that, our top management was in office, we had unending meetings and discussions going on whole day.

It all came to an end at around 6.30. I was planning to leave, so i checked my documents one last time, and it hit on me, hell, i was totally screwed...

I didn't have the invitation letter from our US counterparts. Even asking for one would have taken 1-2 days. It was all chaos then for 2 more hours.

And BINGO!!! Something just came into my mind, that was the only hope. So here we were, me and my HR, doing something that would have banned me from US for my entire life, if they would have caught us. No details here, if you are so interested i can give you the details in person.

Anyways, thanks to my HR, and i was then ready with the brand new invitation letter.

Clock ticked 8.30, i was ready to leave. Arif, our cab driver and me then set our sail. We just crossed the 1st toll and...

Arif asked me "did you hear something flipping?"

Hell, there was a sound coming from somewhere in the car. So we stopped by, started checking the things. And not to our surprise, the radiator was completely drained out. And the funny thing was, AC was creating all this trouble.

So there I was, at the toll plaza, wandering on expressway in cold rainy air. But it feels gr8 to be lonely and helpless at such wee hours of time and at places like Expressway. Truck drivers, cab drivers, malfunctioned cars, crushed vehicles (accidents).... wow, such a nice view. I couldn't have expected more.

10.30, finally all set for the journey to a place called consulate. The next few hours were thankfully uneventful.

Passed Lonawla, and what a gr8 site it was. All foggy, the entire E way was covered in thick fog, u could barely see 5 feet ahead. Doesn't it feel gr8 when u r on E way knowing that 5 feet ahead it can be 100 ft down, u miss a turn and next thing u wud be doing is flying in colors.

Anywez, reached Mumbai at around 1. This time went by a different route, passed Siddhiwinayak temple on my way. Somewhere deep down my heart, i knew that was a good sign, may be next day i was finally getting the VISA.

But wait, the bad things were not over yet...

i went to the reception counter and said i had a booking on my name.

The guy replies me "What time u were supposed to come sir?"

Hell, whats that now? I reported late, so the idiot gave my room to some other guy.

Then he gave me a double room (400 more gone).

Do u know how much pain it is to sleep alone in a double room? I can write a whole new blog on it... wait for one

Newez, the next day started off well, woke up at 6, got ready and reached the consulate at around 7. The usual process started, checkings, tokens and waiting line. By d way, if you know this process well in advance it really helps. It avoids last minute hurries and tensions. Will write another blog on the VISA interview process. It really helps to know what happens inside.

So, there i was, with a white slip in my hand, waiting for my turn. It feels like u are not in US consulate but at some place in Gujrath. All gujjus, Patels, Parekhs, Kantaben, Manibhai. I think gujjus have a really strong connection with US. They speak only two languages in consulate, English and Gujrathi. Even the manuals and notices are in Eng and Gujrathi. The snack counter has steamy Dhoklas 24/7 (just kidding).

I wont be surprised if next US president is a Gujju.

Finally my turn came, a nice officer with trimmed beard smiled at me from behind the glass window. The usual QA round started,

Why r u going, where, whats the product Blah Blah...

he also asked me how to go to Kolhapur from Mumbai (funny)

Surprisingly, the officer didnt ask me, why my VISA was rejected las time.

And the, those magical words came out of his mouth "2nd time is the charm"

oohhhhh, i dont know why i felt so happy then, it was not like going to US was my ultimate dream or anything, but still i felt like wow.

My frnds had told me not to show my face again in office in case my VISA got rejected again, thankfully i was going back to office!!!

Disclaimer: The writer has written this blog just for fun. He does not intend to offend any specific community neither he intends any disrespect towards them. Hope the readers will take this in a lighter spirit.

Noetics... fact or fiction

2009-11-06T15:34:00.004+05:30

Now, if u r Dan Brown fan u already know what Noetic Science is. And for those retards who do not know a word of it... its the inner power of our mind.

It seems mind also has powers beyond our imagination. The thoughts that occur to our mind are not just THE THOUGHTS, they have energy. Concentrated thoughts can do wonders, they can actually change the things around you.

Mass prayers cause the same effects. Its not just a gathering of people with religious interest. Its also gathering of thoughts (energy).

This energy can work in both ways, good or bad. It can be a powerful weapon. So be careful next time when u are actually thinking about something. It can change the world.

(I wonder, if thinking can do changes as desired, i have so many hidden desires, oooohhoooo!!!

But of course, it needs a lot of hard work and practice to this.)

Thats all for now, will keep you updated on this as i get some time to dig into it.

For more reference visit http://www.noetic.org/

10 reasons... Why UR U.S. Visa can get rejected

2009-10-07T17:18:00.016+05:30

The blog below is written out of my hatred for US consulate office, because they did what no one else dared, they rejected me a Visa... Thou shall suffer!

Newez, guys, this doesn't mean i dont like US or anything... i am dying to go there, so once the Visa is granted, the post is gonna disappear and my long lost love for US shall resurface...

Hey, by d way, if u r a US consulate officer, Sir, with due respect, i am writing this just for fun. So i hope next time when i come there i will get a Visa, or else i wud have to rewrite this again, such a pain.

U.S. of A... United States of A$$

Its like a new world to all of us, begging the consulate to grant the USeless visa, standing in queues and wait for the godly officer to smile and grant the ultimate seal... WTF!

And you never know why and how ur visa can get rejected, this guide doesn't help you to get a US visa, in fact it tells you what can be the reason behind ur visa getting rejected. So here we go...

1. The officer had a bad day.

2. The officer is a smart enough to know that u plan to be an illegal immegrant.

3. The officer thinks u r a terrorist.

4. The officer thinks, the first thing u will do when u land in US is, kill Obama.

5. The officer thinks, u will go to his house as a PG (and he has two young daughters).

6. The officer is smart enough to know that u are going there to grab some $$$ and come back richer. (obviously, u r stealing their money u jerk)

7. The officer is not smart enough to understand ur project needs.

8. The officer is a dumb A$$.

9. The officers wife cheated on him last night.

10. The officer wants u to stay here and help grow ur economy.

Long live Obama...

for information on how to prepare for a US visa interview, please visit

http://theambarish.blogspot.com/2009/07/home-work-for-business-visa-for-usa.html

Drink Pune

2009-08-18T17:20:00.013+05:30

This post is inspired by http://theambarish.blogspot.com/

all you guys n girls... ready to get WET and do a TANGA PALTI?

u definitely will find this information useful then, so here is a list of places where in u will enjoy ur drinks...

Warning-

Drinking of alcohol is injurious to health... not only yours, sometimes to others health as well.

Do not drink and drive.

Tips-

If you are planning to get drunk, always make sure one of your friends is a non-drinker. This way you ensure that you get back home safely.

OK, i'll stop giving u this useless gyan and move on to the real dose.

1. Namaskar/Deewar - Resto Bar on FC road, In front of FC main gate, Deccan

Rating- 1.5 on 5

As i said, place for a rookie. Good food, try chicken tandoori and Manchao Soup there.

Ok ambience on ground floor, typical bar like at basement.

2. Sarowar - Resto bar, near Good Luck, Deccan

Rating- 2 on 5

Good food, especially non-veg. try Tangadi kabab.

Good ambience. Reccomend to go with ur frnds.

3. Apache - Lounge, FC road

Rating- 2.5 on 5

If u love loud music this is the place for u. Drunkards heaven. Gr8 non-veg.

4. Apache Nxt - Lounge, Ghole Road

Rating- 2.5 on 5

Apache with not so loud music. again gr8 non-veg. Decent place.

5. Apache - Lounge, Chandni Chowk

Rating- 2.5 on 5

Good place to go with your GF. Stags not allowed on weekends :-(

Its been long time since i last visited it, so dont have recent updates.

6. Toons- Beer Lounge, M.G. Road

Rating- 2.5 on 5

Great place if u love beer. Retro rock. The place is little crowdy but quite enjoyable.

7. Carnival- Resto Bar - Hookka Joint, NM Road-Koregaon Park

Rating- 2.5 on 5

Good place to get drunk on weekends. I love the desi sitting here + hookka. Plus watching chicks at KP is a bonus.

8. Leather lounge- Lounge, M.G. Road

Rating- 3 on 5

Complete paisa wasul. Gr8 ambience, cozy sitting. Has a mini dance floor, but on weekends no stags allowed on dance floor. Though u can dance around it. Good place to watch the chicks getting drunk. But beware of their boy-frnds.

9. Kiwa- Lounge, Behind E-square

Rating- 4 on 5

This one is my favourite..... u simply cant resist getting drunk here.

Good music, good food and top class cocktails. And chicks here are HOT!!!

I think they dont allow a girl to enter here unless she is wearing a short skirt.

Alcohol + Leg piece = gr8 weekend.

more to follow.....

एक विडंबन

2009-07-13T17:58:00.011+05:30

संदीप खरे च्या एक कवितेचे विडंबन ......

मी दंगा केला नाही
मी पंगा घेतला नाही
मी सुपारी दिली नाही
मर्डर ही केला नाही

मी व्हिस्की प्यालो नाही
मी व्होडका प्यालो नाही
मी गाडीवरचा साधा
सोडा ही प्यालो नाही

मी बायकोलाही भ्यालो
मी सासरयालाही भ्यालो
मी मनात सुद्धा माझ्या
कधी लफडे केले नाही

मी झालो असतो फिश
तर selfish झालो असतो
मी झालो असतो फळ
तर वायफळ झालो असतो

-- कवी सुशांत

Upcoming Hollywood Releases

2009-06-25T19:06:00.006+05:30

Pirates of the Caribbean... King Skul

Indiana Skul

Chetan Bhagat's speech at Symbiosis

2009-05-26T18:31:00.002+05:30

Excerpt from the Speech given by Chetan Bhagat at Symbiosis...

Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with
a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no
point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are
the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your
life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of
being excited and alive, will start to die.

One thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. Life
is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like
a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last
another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to
get
so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall
in love. We are people, not programmed devices.

Don't be serious, be sincere !!!

(I have received this in a forward mail from a friend, I do not have any idea whether the speech was given by Chetan Bhagat or not. I do not claim the resposibility or ownership of above material.)

Kranti... The gr8 Auto Rickshaw Strike in Pune

2009-05-07T16:00:00.003+05:30

Last week the auto walas went on strike here in pune... the reason, they were asked to reduce the tariff prices by 1 Rs./KM. Every single person in pune must have been hurling abuses at auto walas. The reasoaning is very simple, when fuel prices go up even by a rupee the auto tariffs go up, so now that the fuel prices are down by almost 10 Rs. the tariffs are the same...

But have you looked at the other side of the story?

Today, i came to pune from my home town, was surprized to see that the strike has been called off. Just out of curiosity, asked the auto wala the reason for the strike (obviously i was thinking on the line of others "Majlet sale")

came to know that, a couple of years back the auto union has made a contract that the tariff price (10 Rs./KM) will be stable irrespective of petrol prices (upto 70 Rs./ lit) for next 10 years. So auto walas are claiming that now the contract is in place they wont be reducing the tarrif price, which is quite logical.

so think for a moment when next time you swear at the auto wala...

False Presumptions and Wrong Perceptions are often the Root of Hatred...

Recession... A nice story!!!

2009-03-16T19:11:00.006+05:30

heard this from one of my collegues, nice story, so thought to share it with u...

Once there was a chinese family, a father n a son, who had settlled in USA. They ran a chinese food joint. It was a very small joint but was popular amongst the locals. They server good food and at cheaper price.

Day by day, the joint became famous, so the son thought to expand the business. He took a small place on rent, arranged for some furniture. It was a decent place, it attracted more people. The business grew even more.

Now the son started his own restaurant, it served variety of chinese authentic cuisine. Glittering interior, neon signs, it was the most beautiful place in that area. Soon it became even more famous, gained popularity amongst the top class. The business grew. The profits rose.

Suddenly one day he heard the news that US economy was hit by recession... layoffs, cost cuttings. But he was least bothered, his restaurant was still doing well. But the father was a little wairy about the whole situation.

One day father told the son, "look son, we are in a deep economic recession, lets spend wisely and cut down the expenses." They reduced the staff, removed the cozy, expensive furniture. This obviously affcted the crowd. Less people now turned to their restaurant, the business made less profit.

But the father was happy. "See my son, havent i told you, recession has started, less people eat out these days. Thank god we reduced on expenses or else we would have been screwed."

One day father again told the son, "it seems like the recession is going to last longer than we expected, let cut down the expenses bit more." They reduced the staff even more, sold the restaurant and rented a smaller place near by. Removed all the furniture.

As a result it reduced the customers even more, they nade even less profit. But the father was happy. "See my son, havent i told you, recession is still not over, people spend wisely these days. Thank god we reduced on expenses or else we would have been screwed."

Few more months passed by, the economy was still going through the recession. Again the father came and told his son to cut down on cost. They moved to their old joint now. Attracted even less customers.

But again, the father was happy. "See my son, havent i been right all these days, recession....., there is no money out there. Thank god we reduced on expenses or else we would have been screwed."

OLEDB datareader >> reading intermixed datatype in excel

2009-02-27T15:06:00.003+05:30

Reading intermixed data types in Excel...

Whenever we are reading an excel file using OLEDB reader, the reader scans the columns and then based on the data present in that column, data type is determined by reader.

For columns containing mixed data (integer and string), the behaviour if determined by a number of factors,

1. The connection string contains attribute "IMEX=1", which tell the reader to scan it for mixed data.

2. The treatment of data is decided by a registry keys at the path below,

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Jet\4.0\Engines\Excel]

The two keys are,

A. ImportMixedTypes

B. TypeGuessRows

The value of the first key, ImportMixedTypes determines the datatype of column when intermixed data is present, generally this value should be Text. But again, it depends on your requirement. You may only want to read integer values from mixed data, in that case this valu should be set to integer.

The value of second key, TypeGuessRows, tell the reader to scan the first n rows of the coluymn and then decide upon the datatype.

e.g. if this value is 10, then the engine will scan first 10 rows and based on the which type of values are more, it will decide the data type of the column.

Setting the value of TypeGuessRows to "0" (zero) will scan all the rows.

Similar keys are present for different file formats under Engines/ key.

Cheers!

Sushant

Date interpretation in Excel

2009-02-27T14:55:00.002+05:30

How Excel interprets dates…

When we change formatting of a column to Date in excel, excel internally stores it as integer. This value corresponds to the day number of that date. This day number is calculated by considering 1^st January 1900 as base date. 1^st Jan 1900 will be stored as 1.

But still there is a flaw in this system. Excel considers 29^th Feb 1900 as a valid date, which in fact does not exist because 1900 is not a leap year (the century years which are divisible by 400 are leap years, e.g. 1600, 2000). So the actual day number is 1 day less than what is interpreted by excel, for all the dates after 28^th Feb 1900.

So whenever you have a date filter in excel, remember to filter it on day number considering the 1 day difference.

In excel, there are two date systems, 1900 and 1904. The default date system is 1900. We can change it to 1904 so that this day shift is eliminated (but not recommended).

This date system can be configured in Advanced Excel Options.

Cheers!

Sushant

Quotable quotes by SKUL

2008-12-29T18:56:00.008+05:30

Quotes and more quotes...

Have u ever given a thought, why is that only famous people say famous things....?

or things get famous just b'cos famous people have thrown them up out of their famous mouth...

what the @#@#,

why not we have the right to blurt something out of our mouth and create a history???

like "Kitne aadmi the?" ( i alwez think, Gabbar didnt ask it for the first time to Kalia, he actually must have asked this to his mother much earlier, but since we have a so called censor board shitting... sry, sitting there, the earlier version was edited)

gud idea, huh...

i m planning to publish such a list of quotes (but very original), something that we heard somewhere or sumthing that we came up with...

so scratch ur brain or ur @##, polish ur keyboard and hit it...

post something, here is a starter...

1. Its better to be a Fool amongst the Kings than being a King of Fools.

by, the gr8 ME

2. False Presumptions and Wrong Perceptions are often the Root of Hatred.

by, the gr8 ME

3. Intelligence of a Tester is Commonsense of a Developer.

by, the gr8 ME

4. 53000 non-smokers die every year by passive smoking... Quit Passive Smoking, start Active Smoking!!!

by, the gr8 ME